First a few important words
This is a preamble to the pages which will follow. Most of them were written to loved ones who concerned themselves when I would go out and 'be a bear' as I call it. I am following a vision which happened to me through the course of three nights and repeated for the following two years in the same manner. In each case I had been 'transformed' into a bear. That is to say, I was no longer a human,
had heavy limbs, was covered in black fur, had five digits to my fore and hind paws and had no discernable tail, my muzzle was ursine. The memories of my view of myself are subjective and occur from the eyes through which I was seeing, thus I can only say my nose was gold, my limbs large and heavy, my feet flat upon the ground and my claws long.
I am a traditional person and was brought up within a Plains Indian culture mostly and this vision I repeated to my elders but there was no answer for it. I put it aside and went off to war during Vietnam. I returned injured and in need of 'medicine' however the 'medicine' which western science has to offer was ineffective. I approached a noted Elder within the Southern Cheyenne (The notable James Daukei whose compassion knew
no bounds) and asked him what could be done for I was determined to stop using 'their drugs'. He asked me right away about my vision and I told him every detail that haunted my memories so vividly. He told me that my medicine would be to become "bear", he suggested it is why I was named for my ancestor and bore the name Blackbear. That I should return to the time when I was a bear I should be a bear and accord with the vision
which Spirit had sent to me back when I was only becoming a teenager.
He was a wise man and I had faith in him, and so began the time that I started my 'walking as a bear' a time of three days (which I do each month except of the winter time of hibernation) during which I behave, travel and have ceremony which is an honor to bear as a guiding Spirit. Following this tradition led to my recovery and the removal of the diagnosed illness. My education into the 'me' of me was not to end there
and I given the honor of instruction of ancestral lore and practices under the guidance of my 2nd teacher, Whitehorn of the Little Osage band who taught the specifics of ceremony and the importance of keeping those traditions alive.
The 'letters' which you are about to read are real circumstances in real life and during the time spoken of, I am experiencing life as-a-bear to the fullest extent that I may be able. I don my bear-robe, regale myself in my finery and prepare myself for a one on one encounter with Spirit. The following 'Bearwalks' are then, quite factual and within each 12 years I experience one whole year entirely as a bear. I have two
distinct memories of events, one where I am the one you most likely can meet and speak with, and the other, the bear who roams the 25 square miles of his home range. These letters are about those experiences, the ups the downs, I have tried to closely relate each instance to the reader and am only speaking the manner in which these things happened as exactly as I am able to.
Draw your own conclusions. Hopefully these missives will help you also experience these things in some small way. Perhaps they may incite you to take up similar actions and seek after your own Spirit which becomes a friend to you for life, never slacking, always there always helpful. In such a case, one never feels alone, one never has any fear that is not ameliorated by the prescence of such a Spirit within their own life.
These missives follow a whole cycle of being a bear. I have included some history but other missives have never become a part of this archive and may never but I do still write them and send them to those who grow concerned for my well being and to those whom I am concerned for.
Blackbear Bright